Today’s quick comment serves as a lead-in to tomorrow’s Silent Sunday. With the prolonged waiting and seemingly endless stalls and obstacles that have brought me to this pre-surgery point, I sense that another part of this karmic phase of my life has to do with timing. More aptly: understanding the difference between time and Time.
The former has been a mild obsession of mine for as long as I can remember. It has manifested in aiming for perfect punctuality; in disproportionate bouts of anxiety when a schedule changes; and in feeling completely adrift when a specific date feels too far away. Aware of this tendency since my 20’s, one might think that I would be free of the albatross of time: Certainly, I have made headway, but the arbitrary clocks and calendars that were created by humankind on planet Earth still have the ability to rattle my nerves.
Enter the notion of Time: As opposed to little-t time, Big-T Time shatters the illusion of schedules and their alleged significance in Life. Yes, to be a human in this current world means aligning one’s one goals and timing with those of others: Otherwise, work places would be in chaos; families would be carpooling in circles, with no pick-ups completed; and our sense of order in a linearly inclined dimension would implode.
But for me, Time is the antidote to time. When I am able to move outside of my ego’s need to stick to a schedule, or to simmer my anxiety when things seem slow to unfold, Peace enters the picture. This particular brand of Peace is engendered by an acceptance of the Universe’s TIme: This is the divine schedule that supersedes—and undergirds—all time and timing on Earth.
So, on Silent Sunday, I will offer a practice dedicated to the relinquishment of time. In doing so, we open to the sense of living in Time.